this song is so real that it scares me.
it's abit contradictory to the title that poses how "unreal" reality is. wow. mind = blown.
ok where do we begin, i think this song is telling us a message through a story about a girl (how ironic that it's from a male perspective), and basically a criticism on the expectations of womanhood, and the societal superficial perspective on "how to live life properly". props to Against Me!
there are 2 main lines that,r i find, are the highlight of the whole song; "some people just aren't the type for marriage and family" and "no mother ever dreams that her daughters gonna grow up to be a junkie..... to sleep alone". wah. it hits dude.
it's like a social commentary to the fucked patriarchal system that expects commitment or fidelity amongst women AND a criticism to the commonly adopted impression of what it takes to be the bad egg in the society.
listen to the song here
ok, as usual, let's begin by looking at the lyrics as a whole;
If she wants to dance and drink all night
Well theres no one that can stop her
Shes going until the house lights come up or her stomach spills on to the floor
This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over
Worked all week long now the music is playing on our time
Yeah we do what we do to get by
And then we need a release
You're gonna mix up with the wrong guys
You'll get mixed up on the wrong drugs
Sometimes our pride it takes us places you didn't really plan on going
When people see the track marks on her arms she knows what they're thinking
She keeps on working for that minimum
As if a high school education gave you any other options
You know
They don't know nothing about redemption
They don't know nothing about recovery
Some people just aren't the type for marriage and family
(chorus)
No mother ever dreams that her daughters gonna grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughters gonna grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughters gonna grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughters gonna grow up to sleep alone
Shes out of sync with the style
She don't know where the actions happening
You know that down town club scene aint nothing like it used to be
You reach a point where theres not a lie in the world that you could use to make the boys believe you're still in your twenties
They keep getting younger don't they baby
Shes not waiting for someone to come over and ask for the privilege
She can still hear that rebel yell just as loud as it was in 1983
You know there ain't no johnny coming home to share a bed with her
And she doesn't care
(chorus)
And if she had to live it all over again
you know she wouldn't change anything for the world
this song is somewhat on the lengthy side. i mean, bruh it's 4mins and it's quite lyric-heavy. but it's fucking deep bro. plus, the beat is quite engaging. i personally think that when you listen to the song, you just cant help but get hooked. it's like a novel that gets your eyeballs instantly fixated to it and you're just cautiously reading it slowly so each and very thought seeps in and stick nicely.
looking at the lyrics now as a whole, and internalising each line, i realised the song is less about a girl who's too into partying, alcohol, drugs, smoking (perhaps), and all those reckless life.
at first i really think that it's about a girl who's going through a depression. actually i thought the "drinking" here is a figurative representation of cutting. idk, perhaps because of the part on "When people see the track marks on her arms she knows what they're thinking". sometimes people cut because they need a release to their negative self-talk when they ruminate. often happens when you are in a depressive state and you hate your life so much, you need a getaway from your mental hardship. the heartbreak, the emotional hurt. perhaps something to do with the her comparing herself to others? how she's not living up to her standard and expectations imposed to her from the society? maybe a disappointment (again, may be referring to some bad experience in the romantic department)? either way, my point is, she's going thru something here. and since we it does touched quite a bit on the idea of womanhood and the bizarre expectations of gender roles, the something here is probably a thing to do with identity confusion - a discrepancy between how she personally defines herself and how the world defines her. i think it sucks that we all are born in a system where gender roles are very important. it's become our identity, a definition to how we're supposed to present ourselves. here, it's also focusing more on the idea that women are supposed to marry.
honestly, i personally think matrimony is a myth, i bet marriage has never even actually been historically grounded in love or intimacy. the sole purpose of marriage is for status, stability, prosperity. economic security. it is and has always been an ego thing. and i still believe it's the case even till today. people marry to make babies so that, men, OBVIOUSLY can continue their legacy through their children (who eventually carry their surnames). i mean, what is love even? all men want is sex, do they even invest in relationships emotionally?
i like the part on this, specifically;
"You're gonna mix up with the wrong guys, you'll get mixed up on the wrong drugs. Sometimes our pride it takes us places you didn't really plan on going"
i hate how as a female, i grew up consuming the ideology that women's best choice at survival was to marry. and to marry well. aka having their rights surpassed by the will of her illusory lover, who eventually became her oh-so-called "legal guardian" in every way. idk why we romanticise love stories. creds to disney, WB, and shakespeare for painting such an unrealistic image of love, because hey it doesnt exist anywhere in this universe. fucked up i know. women, why do we sign papers to turn ourselves in for an arrest warrant? why do we feel the need to tie the knot just to suck up to the traditional overtures of marriage? it's all family orchestra that feeds into men's ego and is so fucking deeply rooted in patriarchy and gender inequality. "places you didnt plan on going" here definitely refers to the phase experienced by a woman (in her married life) where her rights and feelings become subservient and that reproduction was kept firmly within the sphere of male control. which is so fucked since the babies (that are supposed to carry males surnames) are actually GROWING WITHIN WOMEN'S BODIES AND RIPPING OPEN THEIR VAGINAS. dude, it doesnt even make sense to me. fuck u, monsters.
this is why i always tell my friends, MEN ARE TRASH. because they literally are. plus dont you just wonder why when guys propose/confess, they say "would you be my girlfriend?"
like, excuse me? YOUR GIRLFRIEND?? you're asking me if i wanna be yours? no thanks. i am me, myself and mine only. you cant and will not own me. guys should really start asking "can i be your boyfriend?" instead. like, there IS a fucking difference ok.
ok i sidetracked. anyways.
it's not even only that. she's probably unhappy with how her life turns out because she did not sign up to end up taking on the brunt of domestic labour and childcare responsibilities. YET at the same time, knowing how inflation continues to plunge, she's probably forced out of the full time workforce. perhaps, she married a shitty irresponsible kiddo who's unemployed and useless so she has to be the primary breadwinner. bruh. sounds more like my mom, tbh.
it sucks that the premise of what our society call a successful marriage is defined by the fixed, shallow gender roles where the husband has all the financial control in the relationship, aka most of the control in general (because financial control leads to control of how the money is spent and how life is lived). well, i think the song isnt exactly against the whole marriage institution particularly. which i agree 100%. just because i think i can understand how some women think that binding themselves with someone legally (and perhaps spiritually) is a beautiful thing that scores them brownie points in the society in the form of public validation - that they're worth someone's affection (which is quite shallow tbh). what's more sad is that, she had no other choice because going against the system (perhaps love marriage, or considering de facto romance) is something tantamount to, not only her image as a bad egg, but also to betrayal of her family. so, i think the girl in the story wasnt unhappy because of the idea of marriage per se. it's more like, because she can't be who she really is. she probably realises that this toxic society paints a "submissive wife" image as an epitome of a married couple. she doesnt even have control of her body, from losing rights to dictate what to do as soon as she finds herself pregnant, to having the full "ownership" to whatever set of cells growing inside her womb.
again, the song is more like a social commentary to a system that gives in to the traditional historical makeup rather than the marriage institution itself. it is a criticism to how instrumental and deceptive the nature of our society is (aka shallow-minded fuckers) and how they continue to propagate their fucked up misogynistic ideologies and reinforce the status quo (that punish whoever who dares to challenge male dominance). which is, tbh, still very prevalent in many parts of the world.
"As if a high school education gave you any other options"
so, there is this sense that, if you are a female and you are not submissive, you are doing something wrong. it's fucked up because the male privilege is only true because we we primed to identify ourselves with gender since young, "as if a high school education gave you any other options". and women only appear that way because of the societal expectation that morally label them objectionable/have bad attitude if they show behaviours that violate the patriarchal norms.
"Shes not waiting for someone to come over and ask for the privilege, she can still hear that rebel yell just as loud as it was in 1983"
besides that, though, i think the song also is up for something else. This girl may be unhappy, but it doesn't seem like she's unhappy because of her choices, it's seems she's unhappy because people can't accept her for who she really is. yes. maybe some will argue that it just makes sense that all these moral manifestations of sexist arrangements exist. it makes sense that the dominant, unapologetic male population feels entitled to feminine care from women. some will say that it's because women are just more caring and empathetic by nature (than men), and you just cant help but to agree to place women in that system, treat them that way. fucking shit? do you know how ridic this sounds? growing up we all were just supposed to adopt this ideology, which is essentially a fucking bastion of male privilege. and this doesnt change no matter how old or young you are (as reflected in "she can still hear that rebel yell...." as a woman, the girl in the story feels she needs to comply to men's hunger and desire. she needs to serve them and spoon-feed them. bruh, idk how shes surviving, but that's quite shit. whoever who came up with this is a morally bankrupt fucker and i hope he dies of liver malfunction that his brain lacks oxygens and his organs starts producing cancerous cells that attack his nerve functions and limbic system (and i hope you're not one of them).
ok wtf i didnt know i have a hidden talent to induce illness. hahaha maybe i should be a witch and make voodoo dolls now. or maybe in my previous life i was an egyptian that served as one of the priests that removed Anubis's organs. lol wow ok my imagination went abit far here.
anyways, i feel like ive been talking so much. im just gonna wrap it all up here. this whole song is really beautifully crafted. it's really like ready a novel story, but with intent and meaning, instead of just a mere fiction. very very deep, i like it!!!!! idk why against me! is so underrated and known as a sell-out. tbh as far as i know, their songs are p unorthodox..
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